Random Rambles

Helloo lovelies,
Today is my first post I've scheduled for whilst I'm away, I'm not too sure who's going to be pressing 'publish' on this, it could be me or my sister, depending on the wifi in our hotel! (It will mostly be me as knowing my sister she'd most likely delete my blog by not knowing what she's doing!). Today's post is just my little thoughts and feelings right now, it hasn't exactly got a set subject as I'm just going through my jumbled brain at the moment. I hope you don't mind if I jump from talking about holidays to clothes and everything in between.

I've just realised I haven't even mentioned where I'm going, silly me! I'm off to Lanzarote for eleven days, it will be so lovely to just get away for a while and de-stress, over the past year I've had a hectic and traumatic time with certain family issues, the main one being the loss of my Grandad which caused me to become depressed and I feel that has been the main route from all my other problems too, in myself I've been run down with having had Pneumonia and just not being my usual sprightful self so I just feel I've well deserved this holiday!

Anyway, now I've actually disclosed where I'm jetting off too I can begin. I can't believe in a week and a day I'm going to be twenty-one! I'm no longer a baby no more; although I've a inkling I'm always going to be the baby! Even thinking about it now I'm not exactly thrilled with the thought of it, what happened to my five year old self? Or even my eighteen year old self? How the hell am I twenty-one? I hope this doesn't mean I have to grow up and act like an adult now, I'm really not ready for that! It's pretty stirring too though, in a way, I get to be a birthday princess and get a touch tipsy, I'll attempt to behave myself and hopefully not get arrested!

I'm feeling pretty emotional right now, not because I'm twenty-one (I'm not that old, really..am I?). No it's because my reason is as I've mentioned I'm missing someone very special, I always fancied the thought of being on holiday for my twenty-first, however I thought it would be my whole family with me, and even though my sister can't be here because of a particularly amazing reason (she is six months pregnant!), there's still two people not here, two people who mean the world to me and never in my wildest dreams did I think they wouldn't be celebrating my twenty-first along side me; my birthday is a special day, and not just because it's my birthday, it's my Nans also, I always assumed my Nan and Grandad would be here on this day, and even though I'm going for a meal with my Nan when we get home, the fact is my Grandad isn't.

It's been eighteen months now since he's been gone, I've had my first birthday without him, but I'm still heartbroken, my stomach still feels empty that he's not here, especially for my twenty-first. I find it extremely hard to explain how close a relationship I had with my Grandad, he wasn't only a Grandad, he was my best friend too, this is why his death knocked me. If he was here now he would of set his heart on me having a party, he loved parties, he was always the first one on the dance floor and the last one off, he was the first person I got drunk with, he was the life of the party! So the fact he's not here, honestly it breaks my heart, however I'm going to try to smile and enjoy my holiday as I know he wouldn't want me to be hurting and not savour my holiday because I'm missing him.

As I mentioned when we return home we're taking my Nan out for a meal for her birthday too, we've already sent her a nice bouquet of flowers to the house for whilst we aren't there. Unfortunately my Nan's not well enough anymore to come on holiday with us, however I hope she enjoys her meal with us. I've already got a dress, however I may save that for if I go out with my friend for a few drinks to celebrate, so I may need another outfit, wink wink! This month I'll probably have a few outfits to choose from for my Outfit Of The Month so I might spread them out over the next couple of months, however they're probably going to be too pretty to not show off!

As I won't be back until after my birthday I won't be able to give you any updates or let you know all about my day until then, instead when I do get back I'll be able to give you another random rambling about everything that I did on holiday and for my birthday! So I hope you don't mind these nonsense posts too much, personally I rather like sitting down and having a catch up, it's a little rare to do instead of my usual set topics! Also, whilst I'm away, if my posts don't always match up to my schedule please bare with me, I'll try my hardest to make sure I can get a few published at least!

As always, feel free to leave any comments, I love hearing from you!
If you like this you may also enjoy Marley's Adventures and Little Things Mean The Most

2 comments :

  1. This is a nice post and I'm sorry about your Grandad.
    Also Happy late b-day :)

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